It's a no-brainer

no-brain.er
n. Informal
         Something so simple or easy as to require no thought.

That's what sleeping separately is for some people - an activity/decision/event/behaviour that requires a minimal amount of thought when deciding if it's for them.

I have spoken with three couples recently who practice 'sometimes separate sleeping'. Each couple spoke about sleeping apart for about 2-5 night a week for the same singular purpose - so they can sleep.

Well that's a no-brainer!!

Let me break it down to clarify why they think it's a no-brainer.

• They have trouble sleeping with each other
• They want to feel rested and ready to function properly at their job the next day or to look after children
• They go to separate beds so they can get the sleep they need

What? There's no more I hear you ask?

No..... it's a no-brainer!

In fact, the couples I spoke to describe it as a logical, sensible, rational, practical, commonsensical and pragmatic(le) decision, and one they are all so glad they have made. It's part of their life and does not equate to how successful or happy their relationship is - it just keeps them sane and functioning.

Every individual eventually works out what keeps them sane. It's probably an activitiy that they do alone, that gives them the time out they need to refocus and regroup. Without a level of calm and balance, life can become sub-optimal and who wants that?

Here is a random, hastily-prepared list of stuff that I can think of that people do to bring back the balance in their life. (I did look at a lot of websites that talked about inner peace, clearing the mind, letting go of 'energy drainers', aligning one's chakras and things similar, and while there's nothing wrong with lining those chakras up if it helps you get through the day - no judgement here - I tend to live a more practical life, so here's what I think people do).

What I know is that people run, play team sports, become engrossed in a book (probably 50 Shades of Grey at the moment), play with children or pets, do craft or art, surf the web, do a sudoko or crossword, visit their friends, have a glass or 5 of wine, meditate, do yoga, go to the beach, go to the movies, lock themselves in their room, make a cake, clean the family silver, or.............................................. fill in the space if your sanity activity hasn't been listed - because there is no way I can list all the stuff people do to find some sanity when life runs on the hectic side.

So if there is an endless list of activities that help us humans get our grip back, why is spending the occasional night away from a loving, but possibly annoying partner who stops you from sleeping, any different?

Well, of course, I don't think it is.

I think it's a no-brainer.

So next time you are lying next to the person you love the most and they are snoring, thrashing, teeth grinding, reading, iPad-ing or stealing your sheets and blankets.... all I can say is that there is a 

if you want it.

Feeling appy?

I have a chapter in my (yet to be finished, picked up by a publisher, or printed) book about the science of sleep.

Part of the chapter explains why us human folk will sometimes wake up feeling just grand and sometimes waking up feeling like a grand piano has landed on us (and may still be there). It's all to do with body clocks, circadian rhythms, sleep cycles, and goes something a little like this.

We all have a sleep cycle that we move through each time we close our eyes to rest. There are five stages to the sleep cycle; each cycle lasting approximately 90 minutes. Four stages are non-REM (rapid eye movement) and one stage is REM sleep, when we do most of our active dreaming and our eyes tend to move – hence the name.

Getting good, restorative sleep is not just a matter of spending enough hours in bed. The amount of time you spend in each of the stages of sleep matters. A normal adult spends approximately 50% of total sleep time in light sleep, 20% in REM sleep, and 30% in the remaining stages, including deep sleep.

Each stage of sleep in the sleep cycle offers benefits to the sleeper. However, deep sleep and REM sleep are particularly important.

The most damaging effects of sleep deprivation are from inadequate deep sleep. Deep sleep is a time when the body repairs itself and builds up energy for the day ahead. It plays a major role in maintaining general health, stimulating growth and development, repairing muscles and tissues, and boosting your immune system. In order to wake up energised and refreshed, getting quality deep sleep is key. Being woken in the night during the deep sleep or REM stages can impact significantly on the quality of sleep had each night and can contribute to an increase in the symptoms experienced from lack of sleep.

After telling a friend about this aspect of sleeping, she shared with me that she has an app on her iPhone that monitors your sleep cycles and wakes you up at some point within a half-hour window, but at an appropriate pace and time to coincide with what part of your sleep cycle you are in. The app is called Sleep Cycle.

It's a reasonably priced app and I really quite like it. As well as having very calming sounds to wake me, it does do the whole 'work out where I am in my sleep cycle and wake me appropriately' thing, but best of all - you get a very cool graph of your sleep pattern each night, a record of how long you have slept, and an average sleeping time over the nights you use it.

Example of sleep graph

I'm not on commission to sell the app - just wanted to share with any like-minded geeks who think that seeing your sleep pattern and knowing how long you have slept each night (and average sleeping times) will add value to your life.

It is certainly keeping me 'appy at the moment.

BTW - avg sleeping time over 19 nights is 7hrs 22mins.

Now I lay me down to sleep

Sleeping is no mean art:  for its sake one must stay awake all day.  

Friedrich Nietzsch

As I contemplate where I will take a Sunday afternoon nap, (due to very broken's night's sleep) I started thinking about human's need for sleep. This is a subject that I do tend to think about often, considering the amount of time I find myself writing about it lately. 

For me, the primary and most dominant motivation for sleeping separately is my need for sleep. I create living nightmares for others when I don't get enough of it and have always watched all my mother friends with admiration as they carried on their lives while coping with the loss of sleep of due to babies and young children.

I thought I would share a few good websites I have come across recently that deal with the science of sleep - or more importantly the effects of the lack thereof.

The Australian Sleep Association

The ASA is the peak scientific body in Australia & New Zealand representing clinicians, scientists and researchers in the broad area of Sleep. 

National Sleep Foundation

Waking America to the importance of sleep

Catalyst Online Edition Sleep Special

Australian Broadcast Commission (ABC) show Catalyst has put together a great range of videos that deal with the importance of sleep

End Your Sleep Deprivation

An American site dedicated to research into sleep deprivation

I hope my very small readership might find something of interest to them.