Not such a simple question. Beds are more often than not a space more than just a place to sleep.
If you think back to your teens, were there times you lay on your bed and thought about your latest crush, read a book, wrote in your diary or read a secret letter?
For most people their bed is not just a utilitarian furniture installation for sleeping. Although, I concede that this may indeed be the case for a minority of people. I feel sorry for these folks.
Why? Because there is a degree of 'haven' to a bed, and I guess that's why I value my own bed even more so.
No-one has any control over what happens in my bed. I can choose everything about my bed with sheer indulgent selfishness.
- what colour my sheets and doona cover are
- how warm or cool the bed will be
- how many pillows are on the bed during the day
- and the night
- who is given permission to visit
- and who isn't
- where I will sleep on the bed each night
- what I do in the bed - sleep, read, think, stare at the ceiling, cry, chat on the phone, browse the net, play games on my phone
So am I horribly selfish because I don't want to give any of the above up? I don't know if I care that I am or am not. I'm certainly not trying to sound all tough, insolent and broody, just honest.
I recently spoke to a friend who, at the end of a conversation, said "I've got something to tell you". Talk about ominous! Talk about how MANY thoughts can race through my brain in approx 2 seconds!
Her revelation was that her husband and her had moved to separate rooms after quite a few years of marriage (don't know the exact figure, but their oldest is about 19).
Without too many details, she spoke mostly of the bliss of having her own space for the first time since she was a daughter living at home. I'm going to guess about 30+ years ago. When telling me about the new arrangements the tone of her voice lightened and her adjectives became excited and happy.
Knowing my thoughts on the subject, she was very excited to tell me about the move.
Knowing my thoughts on the subject, I was even more excited to hear her tell me about the move.
It's not that I advocate and encourage people to sleep apart, it's just that I could hear the happiness in her voice and could relate to every aspect of what she was telling me. It's knowing that there is another person out there who can understand a little more of how I feel that gives me confidence in my own decision and my ongoing pursuit of normalising the behaviour.
PS - She said their sex life is better now. I say I've got one word for that - 'Yay!!"